Sunday, June 25, 2006

On A Log


Dress: Long sleeve, scoop neck long dress with flare skirt. The side seams come to very subtle points (as opposed to being rounded off, as most skirts are.)
Label: Ralph RL Lauren
Fiber Content: 90% Rayon, 10% Spandex
Year purchased: June, 2004
Purchase price: $2.00
Store: Salvation Army on Clybourn
Additional information/Oddities: This dress is a good examples of why designer clothes are so wonderful and, if it is something you will wear, totally worth the money. Of course that is easy to say when I am talking about a dress for which I am positive I paid no more than $3. This dress really does look terrific though. My only problem is that I think it may be a very dark navy blue and not black at all. This is one of those things that's hard to tell as blacks don't always match.
How I wear it: When I have worn this dress, I have worn opaque tights with it. This is more a function of not having shaved my legs than anything else. Also, winter is not a really great time to walk around with bare legs.

I bought this dress to wear during pregnancy. However, I can't recall if I actually did so, which probably means I didn't since, I feel I have established that I have this completely useless ability to remember everything regarding clothing. Unfortunately, I have no idea where I left my keys.

I did wear it to the parent orientation for Julian's school. I was very nervous and thought that if looked sophisticated and pulled together, it would help me feel better. I also wore this dress on Julian's first birthday. We went to school and brought snacks that day-we had baked an organic pumpkin bread for the occasion and Julian loved it. Then, after Julian had a nap, we took him to my mom's house and Fred and I saw Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, which was the first movie we saw in a movie theatre after Julian's birth. Then Abigail and Melanie came over to throw Julian a party, which didn't really mean much to him as he was only one and he hated the party hats, but liked their gift (a box of musical instruments) and we can say we did something on his birthday when he is a difficult adolescent and demanding proof of our love.

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What people never tell you about pregnancy:
  1. Your breasts will grow. People will tell you this, but they will neglect to tell you by how much. Expect to grow an extra set (i.e. if you are a B cup, expect to become a D cup. If you are a C, expect to start buying sizes not sold in Victoria's Secret.)
  2. People will irritate you more than you thought possible. Some suggest this is a result of the massive hormones coursing through your veins. This is only partially true. The larger reason, however, is that people are truly more irritating while you are pregnant. Everyone has advice, opinions, suggestions, and criticisms about absolutely everything you do. Get used to it. All these people will be there with their advice, opinions, suggestions, and criticisms in regards to the way you will raise that baby that is currently growing inside of you. The reason this happens is people suck.
  3. Expect all your unresolved issues to bubble to the surface, demanding attention. This is probably your brains way of turning you into a grownup (hey, get the therapy now, before the baby is born.)
  4. Those nine months will be the longest of your life. But you will forget them. Slowly. This is the human species' way of ensuring that it doesn't die out. If we remembered what pregnancy was like, we would all have only one child.
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Dress: Long sleeve, v-neck long dress with straight skirt to ankles.
Label: Lauren Ralph Lauren
Fiber Content: 93% Rayon, 7% Lycra
Year purchased: January 2006
Purchase price: $3.00
Store: Salvation Army on Clybourn
Additional information/Oddities: For one very long tube, this dress is surprisingly sexy.

When one has as many dresses as I have, there comes the point when one may run the risk of inadvertently buying a dress I already own. This has not yet happened. However, the casual reader would be forgiven for assuming that this did occur with the above dress. You will have to take my word for it when I tell you that it is unique and different from the other Ralph Lauren dress. It is a very nice, sophisticated dress made out of a jersey material which is perfect for winter. Like the other dress, I can wear it if I ever get pregnant again, but it isn't strictly a maternity dress.

I have worn it a few times. The only time worth mentioning was when we went to the AAA office to get new passport photos to get new passports (the replacement passports we were issued in Costa Rica were about to expire. Why were we issued replacement passports in Costa Rica? Well, because our passports were stolen because some guys slashed the rental car tires and then offered to "help" us when we were stranded on the side of a mountain road. When I think of all the things which could have happened to us, I feel like we were extremely lucky.)

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think i've read the first dress of this post before. I would do some editting "things people don't tell you" list b/c some of the grammar is choppier than your usual writing. I know, anger, blah blah, but it's funnier when it is more controlled.

12:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the second piece feels unfinished. Were you going on another trip with the new passports? How did you convince the costa ricans that you were deserving of a new passport? were you one of those people smart enough to have copies? this is important information for the paranoid traveller.

12:55 PM  

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